Part 8 - speaking through lyrics

Jesse lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His mind kept replaying the days events over and over in his mind, a never ending cycle. Suddenly a vivid memory appeared in the front of his mind. It was of a conversation that he had had with his dad when he was younger.

His father had come out into the garden to sit with him behind the ditch at the back of their old house. It wasn’t much their house. Just a small three bedroom house for seven people.  His mum and dad had a room, him and his brother, Michael, shared a room then al of his sisters, megan, Maura and morganna, all shared the last room. They were all very cramped. The good thing about their house though, was that it was in the country. So jesse got to run about the fields and swim in the rivers. He also enjoyed taking  his guitar out into the neighbouring field, hide in the bushes, and play music. He wrote many songs within them trees.

When his dad sat down, he sat with me in silence for a while. After a while he turned to look at me, his hands were together, like people have them when praying. It made me wary he only did this when he was serious.

“Jesse. Your mother and I have been... well... worried about you. You are 14 years old and you still go on about... these... well seeing people... that no one else... well.. Sees. It worries us. Do you need to talk about something? You don’t have to make this kind of stuff up to get our attention, you know? Just talk to us.”

I stared at him for  a minute, in complete disbelief. “You think i’m a liar? You think I’m going round making all this up to get ATTENTION? Why would I do that?”

“Look son. I’m not implying that you’re either a liar or attention seeker. Don’t go putting words in my mouth. I’m just worried that’s all.”

I scowled at him, then got up to leave. He stood up quickly behind me.

“NO Jesse. Wait. I have something for you.”

Turning round slowly, I saw him reach down behind the ditch and lift something out. I gasped. It was a guitar. Looking at my expression he smiled too.

“I know you always wanted one. And.. you’ve been a good son.  Maybe the music will give you something else to concentrate on. How about that?”

I looked at him and ran to him. Throwing both arms round his neck, I couldn’t stop smiling. Pulling away from him, I took the guitar from his outstretched hand. My first guitar.

“Thanks, dad” I whispered.

He patted my back, then clambered back over the ditch and headed back to the house. Leaving me behind, staring in awe at the guitar in my hands.

*

Turning over in my bed, I smiled to myself. Reaching down to the bag at my bed I pulled out a book. My song book. Pulling a pencil from between the leaves of the book I started to write.

we first met on a sunny day

you stole my heart straight away

our friends would laugh and smile

at our secret smiles you could see for  a mile.

Every day now I see your face

I’m in a never ending race

That you are winning

Give me a chance to love you

The way you deserve to

Be. I’ll me your rock

Since you found the key to unlock

My heart and my soul

Now they’re yours

Now run away with me

Can you not even see

How happy we would be

Away from all the rest

East to west

It’s never to far

We’ll just hop into your car

And drive and drive and drive

Give me a chance to love you

The way you deserve to

Be. I’ll me your rock

Since you found the key to unlock

My heart and my soul

Now they’re yours

I’m sorry for all the pain

As we sit here in the rain

Hiding you’re tears from the world

That we’ve just unfurled

Take my hand and trust me now

Your beauty blinds me so much

I can’t even see with such

Eyes. I’m lost in you here

Please keep me near

Give me a chance to love you

The way you deserve to

Be. I’ll me your rock

Since you found the key to unlock

My heart and my soul

Now they’re yours

Now finally you turn around

And i have finally found

A reason to smile all over again

I just have to find a way to refrain

From letting you  control my life

Hurt and strife

Tears and fights

Control so many nights

It tears me apart

We could be like a piece of art

All i need is for you to

Give me a chance to love you

The way you deserve to

Be. I’ll me your rock

Since you found the key to unlock

My heart and my soul

Now they’re yours

Looking at the book a minute, I smiled to myself. Tomorrow I’d compose it, then I’d get her alone and sing it to her. Looking up sharply I saw two large figures towering above me. I was too late, letting out a yell they grabbed me and covered my mouth and nose with a cloth. My vision went foggy and then I blacked out. Letting my book fall to the ground.